My Uncle Art died this morning. i woke up in a panic at about 5 a.m. and rushed to his bedside to check on him and found that he had passed in his sleep. caring for him these last three weeks has been one of the hardest experiences of my life. watching someone you love so much deteriorate and die right in front of you is hard as hell. on one hand i am heartbroken and sad… and at the same time i feel such a huge sense of relief because i know he is no longer suffering. anyhow… i just wanted to update you all and let you know where i am at… i’ve been so strong through all of this… but now i just feel like a mess inside… but that’s okay… it’s part of the healing process… i’ll get through this… i always do.
so i just wanted to make a quick post to let you all know what is going on with me and why i have not been around much lately…
a few weeks ago i made a post and shared the sad news about my favorite Uncle having terminal lung cancer… well since that post there have been some major changes in my life. after some long talks with my family and some serious thinking i decided to leave Arizona for a while and head out to San Diego to care for my Uncle until he dies. this is a very hard time for me and my family right now… death is never an easy thing… especially when it is someone whom you love very much. as you can imagine i have a lot on my plate right now… so for now my presence here on tumblr may not not be as frequent as it was before… but for now tending to my family and being with them during this difficult time is what i know in my heart is right and where i need to be. but no worries… i will be back after all this is over. thank you all for understanding and for all the support you guys have given me through all of this. i love you guys!!
So today has been a super sad day for me… I just found out that my favorite uncle has terminal lung cancer. He has not been feeling well for a while now. He is diabetic and has been a partier and lived hard most of his life so for years it’s been pretty normal for him to have periods of time where he felt his lifestyle catching up with him… so he’d rest up for a bit and get himself healthy again by cutting down the smoking and drinking and he’d avoid his normal junk food diet just long enough to get himself back up to par and feeling good and then he’d be right back to his old ways… but this last down spell has been really kicking his ass… yesterday he was at home in bed, getting some rest and he said he just started feeling really really shitty… he was having a terrible time with his breathing and he got really weak… and it just kept getting worse to the point that it really scared him so he called 911 and the paramedics went over to the house and they rushed him to the hospital… they have been running all kinds of tests etc. and last night they determined that he has a serious case of Pneumonia so they were going to keep him there and run more tests and keep an eye on him… and then today the doctor came in and said not only does he have Pneumonia, but it also looks like he has massive black cancer spots all through his lungs… and that it’s not looking good for him at all. His wife… My Aunt Sheila (my mom’s oldest sister) is absolutely beside herself… we are all pretty heart broken to say the least… I’m taking it especially hard because I have been super close with both My Aunt Sheila and my Uncle Art my entire life… every summer all while I was growing up I would fly out to San Diego as soon school let out and I spend the summer out there living with them… it was always a blast… they were like my second parents… only way cooler and more fun. haha. Anyhow… that’s what I have been dealing with the last couple days. I have just been crying my eyes out… I’m totally crushed over this. I’m just having a super hard time accepting the whole thing right now. Looks like I’ll be having some pretty sad days for a while. =(